Chapter 6: I Don't Wanna Do This Anymore
"Wow. What happened to make you come to your senses?" Brina asked in shock. I pulled the wet towel from my hair, raking my finger through my thick wet locks. Her question had me stuck. What really happened to make me like this? I had actually been treating Andy like he mattered and for the first time in a long time, I had that warm, fuzzy feeling inside that always left me feeling like I was on cloud nine. We'd walk to class together, meeting up at my locker as soon as class was over. We sat together at lunch, squeezing together at his overcrowded table and he would rest his hand on my thigh, which always made my heart race. We went back to talking on the phone almost every night and in a PG-13 way because I was afraid of making things difficult between us again.
I hopped onto my bed after securing the belt to my bath robe. "I don't know. There for a while, he seemed like he was interested in getting physical, but he backed off and wanted to take things slowly. It seems like he really likes me," I replied. I was used to guys acting like they were interested in something more with me long enough to get laid and I had been guilty of it as well. "So no more acting like a dog?" Brina asked. "Don't hold your breath. People change when they get what they want," I said while rolling my eyes. "Well, he's made it clear that that's not what he wants."
I stretched out on my bed thinking about what she was saying. "You don't know that," I snapped. "No, but I do know you and I know that you would have fucked him two weeks ago and tossed him to the side like a heap of table scraps." I couldn't wait for the day where my friends would stop acting like they were my parents, but sometimes, they were the only things that could make me see things clearly. "I'm not a monster, Brina," I said sounding defeated. "I know. You just act that way sometimes." There was a beep in the phone, signaling that there was an incoming call. I pulled it away from my ear to check the caller ID.
My heart burst into a sprint when I saw that it was Andy. "I have another call. I'll talk to you tomorrow," I said quickly, not giving her the chance to reply and say goodbye. I tapped the screen to let Andy through and my nerves had me shaking like a leaf.
"Hey, what's up?" I answered cheerfully. I bit down on my lip, realizing that I was acting like a kid on Christmas morning. I couldn't wait to hear his voice and I was shocked. "Nothing much. Getting ready to call it a night," he answered. I felt a little disappointed for a second. "Yeah, it's getting pretty late and it's a school night," I said with a much more gloomy tone. "Yeah, well, I just wanted to call and say good night. I really wanted to hear your voice before I went to bed," he replied. My heart fluttered and I couldn't stop the smile that was forming on my face. "Thank you. That just made my night."
"It's not enough to just see your face in the mornings," he said with a chuckle. I was pulled into a state where I felt weightless and the sun was shining. I had never felt like this before and every single day, I felt something new and it amazed me beyond belief. But, I was quickly pulled out of it when I heard a few taps on my window. It was probably just a bug attracted to the lights in my room and it was trying to get in.
"You're just too sweet for words," I said with the smile on my face growing wider. The taps were growing louder and more rhythmic. I froze, looking out the window only to find nothing in the darkness, but I could hear the leaves rustling. I was probably just psyching myself out and I decided to turn my attention back to the phone. "You're just trying to get into my pants," he joked. I started to giggle, but was interrupted once again by the noise coming from outside, this time with the taps growing into aggressive knocks. I sat up, my anxiety reeking havoc, and stood up, careful to keep Andy from noticing that I was paranoid. "Not exactly. But, I'll let you go. I can't wait to see you," I said, trying to rush him off of the phone. "The feeling is mutual. Good night, Angel." I would have given anything to see that smile on his face that I loved so much.
I had other things on my mind though. Who the fuck was knocking on my window at almost midnight?
I quickly whisked a pair of fuzzy pajama pants on underneath my robe and almost yanked the door off of the hinges as I stormed out of my room in route to the front door. In a split second, I put the pieces together and realized that it was probably Alex. It couldn't have been anyone else. He had been back for nearly two weeks and he'd exhausted almost every method of getting in contact with me. I made the bold decision to block his number shortly after talking to Pash about his return and not even my cousins could pull me back to him, especially when they didn't they didn't put forth much effort to get his point across.
As expected, I slowly opened the door to find his tall frame standing in the darkness that engulfed the porch. I squinted my eyes to get a better look at him. I didn't want to flip on the light and have my mom or dad stroll through the house wondering why the light was on. Even in the pitch black darkness, I could see that he was fuming and it made me cheer on the inside. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were burning a hole in my face. This was the first time that the tables had turned and he was chasing after me and it felt fucking amazing. Anyone else would have pissed their pants if they discovered a dark figure standing on their front porch in the middle of the night with a look that could kill. I had to step out onto the porch to get a closer look and savor the moment.
"Jeez Freddy Krueger. Where's your glove?" I joked. The way he stood against the banister on my porch made him look exactly like something from a slasher movie, so it deserved the joke. I was in too good of a mood to pass up the opportunity. Alex glared at me. He was not happy, but I was prepared to enjoy every single minute of his jealousy. He needed to know what it felt like to be wearing the shoe on the other foot. "Ya know, you usually look like you've seen a ghost when I come back home from my trips," he said calmly. "A demon is more like it. I might need to have a priest on speed dial for an exorcism." He hated it when I was a smart ass, but I was having the time of my life right now and I was getting under his skin in the process.
I stumbled into the darkness that covered the porch, making sure my robe was tied and I crossed my arms over my chest. "What do you want?" I asked with a shrug. "Oh, so you're acting like you don't know?" he asked, taking a step toward me. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I was half asleep when I heard you trying to bust out my bedroom window. What do you want?" I asked. I danced around the fact that I was on the phone, but I figured he knew that if he was close enough to the window to knock on it.
His eyebrows were scrunched together and he was growing angrier by the minute."Who were you on the phone with?" he asked, mimicking me by crossing his arms over his chest too. I wanted to laugh in his face for having the audacity to stand here, questioning me. I just decided to play dumb. It seemed like a much better idea right now. It was definitely more entertaining. He needed to know that he didn't own me and I wasn't just going to drop what I was doing and go chasing after him again. "Nobody," I said with a smirk. I could see him clenching his jaw even tighter. "You know that word travels fast around here and I always keep an open ear and mind." Bullshit. Complete bullshit. If that were the case, I wouldn't have had to desperately chase after him for the past year and try to reason with him to get him to actually give a single fuck about my feelings. All I ever wanted was to be treated like I mattered and he didn't care. That was the complete opposite of having an open mind. "If you had an open mind, I wouldn't have to beg you to treat me like an actual fucking person."
"Who is he? Just come on out and say it," he took another step toward me and I took a step back. I was preparing myself for the satisfaction that would come with slamming the door in his face. "Even if I was talking to someone, you'd already know. Word travels fast around here, remember?"
He rolled his eyes with an agitated huff, being dramatic as usual. "I leave and you go fucking somebody else. I wasn't gone that long," he snapped. He was lying again. He had been gone so long that I almost forgot what his face looked like. Seeing him shaking his head was all that I needed to fly off the handle. "That's not the fucking point! You don't give a shit about me, so why do you care?!" I had to remember to stay calm. If I got angry, it would make him think that I was only talking to someone else just to get back at him. My little fling with Andy was far from that, but seeing how he was acting made things even more exciting.
"Get rid of him," he said firmly as he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. My jaw dropped and I could feel the anger creeping up on me again. "Fuck you! You don't tell me what to do and you're sure as hell not my boyfriend. And I know for a fact that you don't ever plan on changing that," I said, placing my hands on my hips. "You belong to me!" he growled. "I don't belong to anybody! I don't have a fucking ring on my finger! I don't have anything that would make you think that I'm your fucking property!" By the expression on his face, I could tell that he was still a little salty and was getting tired of this argument. "You're just doing this because you're mad at me. Just like always," he said with a chuckle. "No, you're just mad because you can't get your way. I'm not giving you a name and I'm not getting rid of him. Get the fuck over it." I planted both of my feet on the ground firmly and I hoped that he could tell that I wasn't backing down easily.
He stuffed his hand down in his pocket and pulled out a sleek black phone that looked practically brand new. I was a bit confused. It wasn't his and his burner phones were always nothing more than a cheap flip phone that you could buy from the dollar store with a measly twenty dollars. "You heard what I said. Get rid of him," he ordered as he extended his hand out to reach me the phone. "What the hell is that about?" I asked, pointing my finger at the phone. "Just take it, get rid of your old phone, and we can be done with this," he said nonchalantly. "I don't want anything from you," I replied in the same tone. He stared at me, almost like he was trying to burn a hole in my soul. "Angel Dust?" he urged, using his nickname for me. Just the very thought of how I earned the nickname made me shudder. If this was supposed to be his way of trying to make up with me, it was pathetic."Leave. I want you to leave and nothing is going to change. You can't control me."
"You know you can't stay mad at me," he said, trying to persuade me into changing my mind and attitude. "Don't act like whatever we had was a committed relationship. We're nothing to each other, so we can't break up and make up." I heard him suck his teeth and he was probably rolling his eyes. "You're so fucking ungrateful, I swear," he said, getting more annoyed. I was running out of energy so I decided to not even argue with him or be forgiving. "I've never needed anything from you," I said with a shrug. He raised an eye brow and stared at me like I was in denial. "Don't I come running over here when you need to relieve some stress?" Of. Fucking. Course. The sex had always been great, but he never came running when I snapped my fingers. I turned on my heels, not giving him the chance to speak and get the last word.
When I turned my back to him, I could tell that he had dropped his poker face and was in complete shock. I wasn't able to cheer and give myself a pat on the back until I closed and locked the door behind me. He always won when we would fight and he was never phased when I confronted him about other girls. For the first time ever, I had given him a taste of his own medicine, and boy was it sweet.