Chapter 4: Little Bit
I couldn't believe how incredibly shocked I was when he said what he said. We had had a few classes together last year and said a few words to each other, but I didn't know him well enough back then to have guessed something like that. We never really talked this year until he and the rest of the guys from the other end of the county would huddle around my locker between classes. But, living in a town like this, everybody was fucking everybody and that's where the shock came from.
"Seriously?" I asked, my face contorted from the shock and confusion. He simply nodded slowly, swallowing a lump in his throat as he stared blankly at me with the redness in his face darkening. I followed his line of sight and he was completely captivated by my high beams. I didn't realize it was that chilly actually. I quickly crossed my arms over my chest to cover my boobs. I didn't want him to be distracted because I wanted answers. I wasn't angry. I was truly curious and fascinated. My fascination slowly began to turn me on and the lust was driving me insane once again.
"But you've been in relationships. Like really long relationships," I said, desperate to learn more. "Yeah, but nothing that really stuck or was worth hanging onto," he said with a shrug. "So you're waiting for marriage?" I asked, raising my eyebrow and stepping closer to him again. He grinned and dropped his head. "No. I'm just stupid with a big heart and I let guilt and regret eat me alive. That's always just been a touchy subject and I don't want to just walk around sticking my dick in anything with a pulse." He had a point there. Welch had it's fair share of beauty queens, both young and old, that had the potential to be the perfect wife, but it also had it's fair share of skanks that would surely land you in the walk-in clinic to get an antibiotic shot in your ass.
It was all making sense now. He was mostly quiet since we'd been going to school together. He would keep to himself, only ever speaking to his close friends or when he wanted to crack a few jokes. Whenever he was dating someone, they weren't open to the public about it and you never saw them showing any public displays of affection. I was coming to the conclusion that he didn't want to fuck someone that he wished he hadn't and I could understand that. Some people didn't care who they laid down with. I could say the same for myself considering my track record, but the difference between me and other people was that I didn't want a baby or an STD. I could never understand why people thought a baby was much worse than a disease, but I worried about my physical health. I didn't want to end up on my death bed one day because I slept with the wrong people and made some bad decisions. No glove. No love.
"Does this change things?" he asked, looking up at me with the most adorable puppy dog eyes that I'd ever seen. I smiled, my heart racing again from the excitement. "Not at all. I can respect that," I took a step toward him, climbing onto his lap again. I slowly moved my hands up his chest, to his neck, and finally rested my hand on his cheek, pulling him in for another deep kiss. "But we can still have fun," I added. He placed both of his hands on my hips firmly, pressing me against the lump in his pants that started to grow all over again and in an instant, his lips were back on my neck, attacking me with an electrifying hunger that he couldn't wait to satisfy.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do with a virgin. I've never been the one to navigate things," I said in shock. We were skipping as usual. I felt like this time could be justified because I had just been blindsided a few nights ago. I sat in the windowsill while Brina and Ashe paced the floors of the fourth floor bathroom. No one ever came up here anyway. The fourth floor had always been a complete dead zone during our time at Mount View. The only people that ever had classes up here were the seniors and half of them barely came to school.
The two of them remained silent, processing all of the information I had just given them. The suspense was killing me and I was dying for an answer. "Say something!" I snapped. Ashe pulled her eyes away from her feet, still looking puzzled and finally looked up at me. 'Well?" I urged. Virgins were uncharted territory for me. I was experienced for the most part and I hadn't slept with a virgin since I lost my own virginity. I was pretty shook , but strangely enticed.
"I just can't believe you're into someone besides Alex. How big did you say he was?" Brina questioned. I was getting frustrated. They were dancing around my questions and concerns. "I'm not answering that," I said, glaring at her. Their jokes were only frustrating me even more and soon, it was going to lead to an argument.
I hopped down from y seat, deciding that it was time to go and I was just going to have to go at this blindly because they were no help. "I'll figure things out. Hit me up later," I said, trying to control my nerves and temper. I stormed out of the bathroom and when I got out into the hallway, I started to panic all over again. Sure, Ashe and Brina were being bitches and making light of my mini crisis, but they were all I had and they never steered me wrong.
I was handling the situation a lot better than I thought. It wasn't all that bad. Andy wasn't that kind of virgin that had strictly promised the Lord that he would save himself for marriage. He was a virgin simply because there had never been the right time or moment for him. After our make out session a few nights ago and him telling me that he had never had sex with anyone, he was more relaxed. Unfortunately, I sucked at controlling myself and my hormones. I behaved like a savage as soon as he was within five feet of me. We only ever saw each other in school and I sure as hell couldn't attack him and violate him somewhere with that many people. I believe he knew what he was doing. We'd sit at different lunch tables on opposite ends of the cafeteria and later on in the day, he'd send me texts here and there, telling me how much he loved to watch me walk across the room.
He may have been a virgin, but he made me squirm. He had my head completely fucked up. I was a little bit too proud to admit it, but I was head over heels for him. The bad part was that we didn't really see each other outside of school. He had a car, but he always brushed off coming to see me with some bullshit excuse. Maybeury was a pretty long distance from Welch and since gas prices were insane and he didn't have a job, I really couldn't blame him. We would see each other at football games where we could easily sneak off with no questions asked, but he decided to tease me instead.
I was scaring myself because I couldn't believe how tight he had me wrapped around his finger. Since we couldn't see each other, we stuck to texts whenever he could get service and phone conversations on the landlines just like the good old days.
"How can you manage to still be a virgin?" I asked with a chuckle. With the cordless phone pressed to my ear, I rolled over on my back, raising my legs up in the air playfully. "You ask me this all the time," he replied, laughing a little. I pressed my legs together after hearing him laugh. I pictured him shirtless and biting his lip with that smile that I loved. "And you never give me an answer!" I remembered how hard it was for me for an entire year before I actually did anything about it. I always wondered how difficult it was for a guy and if blue balls was actually a thing. "Don't worry, I'll have you screaming my name sooner than you think."
"You wish!" I shouted, "don't change the fucking subject!" I was dying to hear what he had to say. For a good portion of my teens, I felt like a wild animal whenever my hormones got the best of me. Sometimes the lust was blinding. "I don't know. I just masturbate a lot. Not so much now, but I went through a million socks last summer," he admitted. I couldn't hold back the laughter that erupted from my mouth. "No fucking way! Guys really beat off into socks?!" I yelled. I was dying to hear what he had to say about shooting his soldiers into a tube sock and stuffing them under the bed to hide the evidence."Yes! When its three in the morning and you're in your room with your dick in your hand, you don't have a lot of options!"
There had been plenty of conversations between Ashe, Brina, and I about masturbation and even though we had done our research and experimented on our own. I didn't know how either of them felt about playing with themselves, but it just wasn't my cup of tea. Why do it myself when I could make a phone call and have someone else take care of it for me? "Sorry, but I can't roll around in bed and flick my bean. I'm just not into it," I chuckled.
"Ow! Fuck!" he shouted, causing me to focus on our conversation once again. "What the hell is going on?" I asked. "Nothing. I just need to get this damn weight bench out of my room." I chuckled and rolled back over onto my stomach. "I didn't know you lifted weights," I said, biting my lip. I didn't know why, but the thought of him working out made him just a little more attractive. "Shit no. It's basically where I throw my clothes so I can get in bed or I just use it as a chair." I rolled my eyes. So much for that. "So, it's basically your masturbation bench?" I joked. "You're not funny. I'm surprised that you don't have anymore questions. Our conversations usually sound like an interrogation."
"I do, actually. What's it like to have blue balls?" I just blurted out the first thing that came to the top of my head. "Why do girls always ask that?" I could tell that he was grinning from ear to ear and I was dying to see his face. I had never craved anyone before, especially not as much as I craved him. I didn't even have to touch him. Just seeing him or standing next to him would be enough for me. I just wanted his presence. "I'm asking the questions!" I snapped, "and because guys always use that to justify why we should let them fuck us. Is it a real thing?" I asked anxiously. "Definitely. It's not a myth," he replied. "Well, what does it feel like?" I had heard before that it was equal to being tortured. "It sucks. It definitely sucks," he added. "That doesn't tell me what it feels like. I know you've felt it at least once since we've been talking," I said sounding a little flirty. "All the time, actually and I feel like I'm gonna explode every time you're near me," he said with his tone changing to match mine. "I don't think it's all the time. I don't see you pitching any tents," I challenged. For a second, I pictured him looking down at me, raising both eyebrows, his expression telling me that he wasn't bullshitting.
"All the fucking time. When you get off the bus in the mornings, half asleep and still managing to perfectly swing your hips. When you come over to the table and bend over it just to argue with Blue and Shaq and you know what you're doing when you stick your ass out right next to me." I had no idea that I was such a hellion and I had to admit that I wasn't showing off on purpose. I was just used to it. I was so used to guys keeping their distance from me because they knew who I was sleeping with every single night and they either feared him or knew that they could never hold a candle to him. "I have to fight so hard to control myself when you get up on your toes to kiss me because you're so little, but it's cute. I always think about the first night I came to see you." My heart fluttered and I caught myself having flashbacks and just the memory of having his hands all over my body caused my heart to beat faster. I caught myself thinking about the way he looked at me when I walked the halls and how he'd take advantage of the large crowds between classes to stand as close as he could behind me just to be able to press his crotch against my ass. I found myself squirming even more with all of my blood rushing to the sensitive areas below my waist. Whenever I would move, the crotch of my shorts would shift, giving me a little pleasure from the friction, but not enough to have any satisfaction. He was only doing this to turn me on and it worked.
"Fuck me," I groaned, squeezing my legs together. I was hoping that the discomfort would pass because there was no way that I was going to get the relief that I wanted. Now I understood what blue balls felt like."Not so fun, is it?" he said with a chuckle. This had been a game to him and I was ready to throw in the towel and declare him the winner. I was miserable. I couldn't believe that he had gotten me to a point of being ready to scream or explode and the frustration was enough to make me want to fight him. "You're an asshole. How am I supposed to get rid of this?"
"Well, I only have enough gas to make it to school and back for the rest of the week. You might have to flick your own bean," he said, holding back his laughter. I groaned in frustration again, trying to maneuver around in order to get comfortable enough to clear my head. "Shit, I'd rather take a cold shower. Hang on," I said as I put the phone down to whisk my shirt over my head and slide my shorts down my legs. My sexual frustration was a good enough excuse for me to strip and it was incredibly muggy tonight and I couldn't keep from feeling suffocated with clothes on. My door was already locked, so I didn't have to worry about either of my parents storming in and bitching about me sleeping naked.
"What are you doing?" he asked, probably thinking that I hung up. "None of your business," I teased. I pressed the phone back to my ear and crawled underneath the blankets. "Fine, I was just making sure that you weren't playing with yourself," he joked. My mouth flew open and I didn't know whether to laugh or be disgusted. "You just want that to happen so bad, don't you?"
"Maybe. It would definitely add some excitement to my night," he said nonchalantly. I rolled onto my back and stared blankly at the ceiling thinking about how awkward that would be. "It's not like you can even see me doing anything," I said, taking a second to entertain the idea, "I wouldn't even know what to do. It would be totally pointless." I was wishing that he'd quit playing games and just come right out to tell me what he was getting at. "It's easy. People do it all the time. It's called phone sex." The term made me cringe. Sure, I had had sex in a few not so private places, but it was weird to think about doing something so private with someone listening on the phone.
"Just take your hand and ease your way down your body, get nice and relaxed. Spread your lips apart and you can use your fingers to rub your clit or you can finger yourself," he went on to explain. The things that he was saying made me cringe. I never imagined him as the kinky type and I definitely didn't see him as the type to use these words. Even though I was surprised, I was slowly but surely getting excited and even more turned on. "It's worth a try," I said with a shrug that he couldn't see. I did as he instructed with my heart racing.
I opted to choose the method that would be a lot less messy and touched myself like I had never been touched before, allowing a moan to escape from my mouth that took me by surprise. It was odd, but I wasn't embarrassed like I would have been any other day. "And just think about the first time you crawled on top of me with my dick pressed against you. Think about how you were grinding on me," he said like he was telling a story. I moved my fingers, squirming and arching my back. I let myself drift away, thinking about his lips dancing on the skin on my neck and collar bones. I didn't realize that I was moaning louder than I would have preferred.
"Remember how wet you were?" His words caused my fingers to work faster. My toes were curling and I was beginning to feel the familiar euphoria that I was used to someone else giving me. "You don't know how bad I wanted to fuck you that night. In just your t-shirt with your panties pushed to the side." I could feel the familiar knot forming in the bottom of my stomach as I continued to moan. I was so close, I could taste it and it was driving me insane. The smallest thing was bound to send me over the edge.
"Go ahead and cum for me," he said, his voice filled with lust. My heart dropped and the knot in my stomach that continued to tighten had finally been released, giving me a feeling totally foreign to me. "Oh fuck! Andy!" I screamed, not caring about the volume of my voice. It was a high unlike anything I had ever felt before and I enjoyed every second of riding it out until the end.
"See how easy that was?" he asked. I couldn't even focus long enough to give him an answer. I laid there struggling to catch my breath while he chuckled on the phone. I couldn't even get my thoughts together to figure out what the hell just happened. My mind was completely blown. "I'll let you get yourself together. Good night," he said, waiting for my reply. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow," I finally said, still panting breathlessly. "Angel," he said before hanging up. "Yes?" I was hoping that he would say something to get me wound up again. After what I just felt, I didn't know if I was going to go to school tomorrow or stay in bed and become a chronic masturbator. "I told you I'd have you screaming my name," he said and then the line went dead.
I shot up, sitting straight up in bed, in total shock. I was still holding the phone in my non dominant hand and I was probably going to have to wash the other one. I looked down underneath the sheets to find a pretty good sized wet spot on my sheets. My eyes darted frantically back and forth from the phone to my hand to the wet spot on my bed."What the fuck just happened?!"