Chapter 24: MakeDamnSure
"It's never good when Tonya comes to visit. And by visit, I mean come to my house like she owns
the damn place expecting someone to give her money," Jada said sounding annoyed. She must
have really been upset about Danny and Ryan's mom coming. This was the first time I had seen
Jada without all of her make up and flashy clothes. She stood next to me in her kitchen, dressed
like a normal person with sweat pants and a baggy t-shirt. "She thinks shit is supposed to be
sweet even though she threw the boys to the wolves." I knew they had problems with her but I didn't exactly know why. Danny usually brushed it off and said she was a bitch and just left it at that. Honestly, I was a little annoyed by the fact that he never went into detail about why he hated her. It would have been nice for him to brief me on her before having to meet her at the ass crack of dawn.
"And she's a monster. I know she'll have something to say about you, but she better not open her
mouth about you or our baby," she said, pointing at me furiously. My relationship with Jada had
come a long way in only a few short months. The bitchy personality slowly slipped away and I was able to see that she was just protective of Danny and Ryan and that she came from absolutely nothing to the life that she has now. She sat down with me on plenty of nights and told me about how often she would have to miss school because she had been up all night listening to the sounds of her father's drunken rants. She told me about how her mom would try to force her to sleep with men
just so she could get high. Even though Danny had already filled me in, hearing how she and Ryan met was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. The bond they shared was filled with unconditional love, loyalty, and passion. In the end, Jada was just a beautiful soul looking for someone to love and be loved by. She was genuine and kind on the inside and that was going to be the only way I ever saw her. She didn't have any siblings, so she took Danny in as her little brother.
"Don't get her all worked up. We know how to get rid of Tonya," Danny said as he strolled into the
kitchen. It was pretty early in the morning. Apparently Tonya called to inform everyone that she
was on her way from Ohio in the dead middle of the night. Jada got the call at 3 in the morning
and she had been up ever since. It was an unusual event for me to be up at 8, but I guess the
baby was the reason why my internal alarm clock was all jacked up. "How the fuck did she end up in Ohio anyway? Last year she was in Virginia trying to track me down in North Carolina," he stated. Jada shrugged and started scrubbing the already clean counters.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the table to sit down on his lap. "If she gets too bad,
I'll just walk away," I said shrugging my shoulders. "YOU WILL NOT! THAT BITCH CAN LEAVE!" Jada barked. She was way past annoyed at this point. She was so angry and stressed out that she was shaking. "Exactly. Syd, you're apart of this family now. She's not. She decided that when she abandoned us," Ryan chimed in. He walked to the counters and pulled a bottle of pills out of the cabinet. "And you need a Xanax," he said as he rested a hand on Jada's shoulder. "Make it two. I'd rather be doped up than deal with her."
"What do you mean when you say she got rid of you?" I asked, looking back at Danny. The room
grew silent. I could tell that I must have struck a nerve. I had my own issues with my parents but
I could see that they were nowhere near as bad as theirs. But I was still curious about how she
earned her place as the black sheep of their family.
It was only a few moments later when we heard the loud sound of someone banging on the door
like they were trying to break it down. "MOMMY'S HOME BOYS! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" she shrieked. Ryan slammed his palms onto the table before standing up to go answer the door. He
exited the kitchen and I could feel the anxiety growing in the pit of my stomach. Danny pulled me
closer to him where his nose was nestled in my hair. "It'll be alright," I reassured him softly.
"Tonya," Ryan said coldly. I couldn't see them, but the tension was slowly growing. "That's
'Mommy' to you, you little fucker," she said with a chuckle. I could see that the conversation was
pissing Jada off already. "Act like one, bitch!" Jada yelled. Tonya strolled in with an even bitchier attitude than Jada's. She wasn't tall, maybe a few inches taller than me. Her skin was pale and pasty. She had a good deal of weight on her and was covered in tattoos that were obviously homemade.
I took note of the words "Bad Bitch" scribbled down her right forearm. The ink was faded and
blotchy like she had gone to a scratcher with tattoo supplies that they bought from a sketchy seller
"Nice to see you again too Jada. Still don't have a ring I see." Jada's face was turning red and her
eyes were scanning the room for objects she probably wanted to throw at her.
Danny's lips made their way to my ear. "If things get ugly, go upstairs," he whispered. "I'll be okay." My hatred for this woman was growing. She simply looked like trash with a personality to match.
"Why are you here?" Danny asked, unable to keep quiet any longer. Tonya didn't answer him
immediately. She strolled around the kitchen, grabbing the curtains and looking at them with
disgust. She smirked at the way Jada had neatly decorated the dinner table with a red tablecloth
and black place-mats.
"Relax. I just heard a few things through the grapevine." We all looked at her in anticipation of
what her reason for being here was and what she heard a rumor about. "Okay, and?" Danny
questioned. "I'm here for her," she said pointing a finger at me. My eyes grew wide and there was lump forming in my throat."Why me? I don't know you," I said quickly. Great. Another person was out to get me all because of a dumb ass rumor. I totally expected that word to get around about Danny and I being together. Lord only knows what else was being spread around. "But I know you. You're a Trent. You're Shawn and Melissa Trent's daughter and word around town is that my boy dropped a baby in you," she said, leaning over the back of the chair across from me and Danny. She inched herself closer and a smug smile crept across her lips. "Yeah, so what?" I snapped. "But not before you turned eighteen, she said with a wink."
My heart rested only because she thought she was doing something by holding an issue over
our heads that we already handled. But I had to keep a good poker face before going in for the
kill. The best way to shut down an idiot was to hit them with information when they think you
don't have a clue.
"I know your momma, little girl. She and I go way back. Same with your daddy," she said with a
wink. Danny knew that I was about to start raging. My body felt like it was on vibrate. It wasn't
the rumors or the fact that she knew my parents that made me so mad. I just couldn't stand it
when people were assholes and right now, she was taking the cake. I could feel Danny tighten his
grip around my waist.
"Mommy and Daddy like to play it off for the world that they're this happy couple and that shit
has always been sweet. I wonder how they would feel if they knew that you were sleeping with
a grown man?" She had stood up and walked around the table to approach me. She was only
three feet away from me. I was staring her down like my life depended on it. "Why do you care?"
I asked, clenching my jaw in an attempt to remain calm. "I just wanted to remind my boys that I
come first. If I have to get rid of a problem, then I will. Look around you. Both of my boys living
back here in this raggedy ass town with roofs over their heads and money in their pockets and
they choose to sit up and take care of a mental patient and a child. I thought that this would be
the perfect time to claim what they owe me." I could feel my composure slipping away.
She took another step toward me. "So, your best bet is to take your baby and go crawling back
to Mommy and Daddy." She reached her hand out in an attempt to grab a piece of my hair.
"Get the fuck out," Ryan said calmly. He sat at the table with his hands locked together in front of
him. He kept his head down and eyes closed. "Excuse me?" Tonya said, taking her attention off of
me to get ready to defend herself. "You heard me. We don't owe you shit. Not now and not ever.
Get the fuck out," he said slowly. Tonya looked at him like she had just been slapped in the face.
She went around Danny and I to stand directly over Ryan. "Make me get the fuck out. I raised
you ungrateful little fuckers. I deserve some respect!" He opened his eyes and took a few deep
He put his hand down in the pocket of his basketball shorts and to my surprise, he pulled out
a shiny silver handgun. I gasped and my mouth flew open when he sat it gently on the table.
"Leave," he said sternly. I didn't know a thing about guns. All of them scared me. I had never even
been that close to a real gun. Danny's grip on me grew tighter and tighter. "You wouldn't fucking
dare," she said, taunting him. "I would. I'm not a punk and I'm definitely not a kid anymore. You
kick us to the side and send us to fend for ourselves and now you have the nerve to feel like
you're entitled to something."
I could see the worry all over Jada's face and Danny was ready to jump at any second. "That's
in the past. You boys love me," she huffed, putting her hands on her hips. Ryan shot up from the
chair, grabbing the gun in one swift motion. Before I could even blink, he had the barrel pressed
to her temple. He took a few steps forward as she took some back. Tonya was backed into the
wall. She didn't flinch or put her hands up like I expected her to.
"Bold. Just like your daddy," she said with a chuckle. "Because Dad didn't take your shit either?" Danny interrupted. Ryan shot him a look over his shoulder and then turned his attention back to their mom.
"This is either going to go one or two ways, you choose. You turn your ass around and
walk out those doors, get in that piece of shit hotel on wheels, and you never come back, or I
send you out of here in a fucking body bag. These two," he said, pointing a finger in mine and
Jada's direction, "they're our family now and that baby is the only person we owe anything to.
So, I suggest you leave because I don't have a problem with blasting your brains all over these
goddamn walls," he said through clenched teeth. Danny patted my leg, signaling me to stand up.
He walked over to the two of them, hovering over Ryan's shoulder. "And I don't have a problem
with cleaning it up. It wouldn't even phase me. Like he said, get the fuck out." Jada had made her
way over to me because I was obviously terrified. She watched the two of them with pride.
The three of them eyed her like a pack of hungry wolves and I cowered in fear. My hands rested
on my cheeks, ready to cover my eyes at any given moment. I was beyond traumatized and
shaken up. I couldn't believe that they were seriously threatening to kill their own mother. At this rate, I wasn't even sure if they were bluffing.
Tonya didn't budge. "Shoot me. You don't have the balls. I bet the goddamn thing doesn't even
have any bullets in it," she taunted. Ryan pulled the gun away from her head, pointed it to the
ceiling, and filled the room with the sharp sound of the bullet leaving the chamber. My shaky
hands covered my eyes and I held my breath. A part of me was almost hoping that it was empty,
but I was quickly proven wrong. I was almost sure that he was going to fire off a second shot and I waited for the sounds of her blood being splattered all over the walls and her body hitting the floor.
I was proven wrong again when I heard the sound of quickly moving footsteps followed by the door slamming. I looked up to see Danny coming toward me with his arms wide open. "Fuck, that was intense," Jada said out loud. I was still frozen. I could speak even if I wanted to. Tonya had rubbed me the wrong way, but I was praying that he wouldn't kill her. "Relax Syd," he said as Danny moved to stand behind me. "Sorry you had to see that," he said sincerely. "I may have a reputation as a cold hearted son of a bitch, but I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of throwing my life away.
There was only one bullet," he added. He pointed the gun to the ceiling once more and I prepared
myself to go into shock again. He pulled the trigger, but all we heard was a click. "Yeah, this one
is to scare or possibly maim. We keep the big shit locked away in the bedroom," Jada added as
Ryan handed her the empty gun.
"You guys are fucking crazy." I didn't know whether to be scared of what they could do to me or
filled with regret because I, being who I was and being known to have a poor judge of character, had no idea what I had gotten myself into once again. "She made us this way,"Jada said, defending the three of them. Her words made me grow angrier and angrier. I pulled myself away from Danny and was headed toward the door. I didn't sign up for any of this. The previous events had completely hit me out of nowhere and I didn't know what to say and I definitely didn't know how to pretend like I was okay with it all.
"Where are you going?!" Danny shouted. The only place I could think of was home. I had one of
those feelings growing in me that usually ended with me curled up in my mom's lap and in tears.
If there weren't any red flags before, I definitely saw them now. I couldn't shake off the image of
possibly seeing a murder scene right in front of me. I couldn't handle the idea of my child's father
being an accessory to a murder. "Don't follow me!" I yelled back. I continued marching down the
stairs and then down their driveway. I was going to regret taking such a long walk with the cold breeze blowing around me, but it was the only way I was going to figure out if they were being reasonable or that they were just a bunch of fucking psychopaths.
I was shaken up, but definitely not to the point of running to my mom. The thought of running to her like a scared child was embarrassing. I was eighteen and I always made it a point to prove that I didn't need my parents before and even though we had a much better relationship, I still didn't need them. I didn't need them or anybody to defend me. I knew that my friends would always have my back, but like always, they would only have to stand back and watch. The thought of being seen as helpless angered me. It always did. I could take care of myself and I was tired of having to force that into people's heads. It made me sick to even think about it.
I was an adult now and I had always been able to handle any confrontations. I wasn't going to be pregnant for long. With the hot water from the shower head splashing over me, I added Danny's mom to my list. I smiled at the thought of bashing her head in as soon as I got the chance. I was pretty pissed off and it got worse the more I thought about her attitude and the fact that she thought she really knew who I was. Yes, I was the daughter of Shawn and Missy Trent, but that didn't define me. That's one thing that always made me sick about this county. Just because people knew your last name, they thought they knew who you really were. I had a ton of relatives with some that I would never openly admit were related to me. Dating was always hard because guys were either my distant cousins, they slept with some of my skanky cousins, or they were just creeps. Those were just a few perks that came with living in such a small town.
A shower was everything I needed to calm my nerves. I was still upset, but I didn't have the energy to deal with a confrontation when Danny finally made it back to the apartment. With only a towel wrapped around my wet hair, I strolled through the apartment in the nude. I figured I should probably take advantage of being able to see my feet for now. With the months flying by, my belly continued to grow and I would look like I was ready to pop before we knew it.
I tipped into the bedroom, poking my head behind the door. The mirror sat there, where it always was, mocking me. I had honestly avoided looking at my reflection for the past few weeks. It seemed like I was adding an inch to my waist line every single day and the changes were shocking. I took the plunge and stood there, naked in all my glory, and took a few deep breaths. These kinds of changes were shocking. One minute I was at my thinnest and now, as the winter months crept upon us, I was really beginning to look as fat as a bear. The image in my mind wasn't of a cute and cuddly teddy bear like Mom always gushed about to Aunt Lily. I thought I looked like I was getting ready to hibernate.
Sure, my boobs were fuller and my hips were getting wider, but that came with huge areolas that looked like they were covered in coal dust and a sore tailbone and sharp shooting pains in my hips when I laid on my side for too long. I was uncomfortable both physically and mentally and it was all beginning to feel like too much to handle. On top of the incident with Danny's mom and seeing them act like an insane squad of murderers, I was overwhelmed. I didn't feel like reaching out to any of my friends. Rachel had her own load of shit to deal with seeing as though her due date was getting closer and closer, Candace was probably somewhere strung out, and Jamie and Melanie made it very clear that they didn't want anything to do with having kids, I just decided to stay to myself.
I felt defeated. The more I stared at my rapidly changing body, the more ashamed and disgusted I felt. I snatched the towel from my hair and quickly wrapped it around my body. I held back the tears as I dove into an empty bed. Hopefully I would drift off to sleep before Danny came storming in, ready to rip into my ass for running off. For a split second, I started to think that motherhood wasn't for me. This transition was difficult, my emotions were all over the place, and I felt like I was losing my mind when I was supposed to be happy.
Suddenly, I felt the sensation of something rolling over my lower belly. I gasped and quickly flipped over onto my back, thinking that my muscles were stretching and twitching. I propped myself up on my elbows, staring down at my abdomen as it happened again. More small movements rolled under my skin, making my belly look lopsided and uneven. And then it evened back out, stopping for a minute before I felt another rolling sensation, causing the center of my belly to stand at a tiny peak.
My vision was blurry from the tears swelling up in my eyes. I smiled to myself, realizing that I what I was feeling were the first tiny acrobatics from my little baby. I was shocked and amazed. I rested on my back once more, cradling my belly as I stared up at the ceiling. It moved again and again. This was the sign that I needed. My heart had never been filled with so much love. That was what it took to make me realize that this life I was living wasn't just about me anymore.