Chapter 19: Love Me Harder
Updated: May 19, 2019
I expected my parents to scream and yell at me. I also expected them to dislike Danny. The night had been full of surprises for each and every one of us but it didn't put a damper on things. I would have never thought that having Danny on my arm would have eventually led to a better relationship with my parents. It was like a switch had flipped and my need to stay away from them disappeared. It was their energy that told me that everything would be okay from now on. I decided that we should spend the night at my house simply because I craved the feeling of safety and love that I got just from being under the same roof as my mom and dad, just like when I was a little girl.
“You’re all grown up now. You’re not my tiny little pigtail wearing cowgirl anymore,” my dad added as he patted the top of my head. “You’ve experienced more than what most seventeen year olds have experienced. I didn't want any of this for you, but the Lord had other plans. I think you’re ready for this,” Mom said. I could finally breathe knowing that they were on board with the idea of having a grandchild. Between the two of them and Danny, that was all the approval
that I could have ever asked for and it felt amazing. This was what I had always wanted in a family and now I was getting the chance.
I didn’t feel like taking the ride all the way across town considering the fact that we sat in that booth until they were closing up and cleaning the floors, so I knew that it had gotten pretty late. “You can have the guest room if you want,” Dad said, turning to me and Danny. "Thanks Daddy,"I said as I stood on the tips of my toes to kiss his cheek. He wrapped his arms around me and nearly squeezed the air out of my lungs. "I'm so glad you're home," he said with a sniffle. It reminded me of being a little girl all over again. This time, he was willing to let me camp out in the guest room. Some nights as a kid, I would slip off to the guest room in the middle of the night just to play pretend. Sometimes I wanted to be a princess and pretend it was my castle and other times, I would stay up all night fantasizing about filling the walk-in closet with tons of beautiful clothes and shoes.
The guest room was pretty much the size of at least four rooms in our house. It came equipped with a microwave, a flat screen television, and a mini fridge. The bed was gigantic and so was the closet. Mom and Dad disappeared to their bedroom with a few giggles here and there and I was glad that
they hadn’t started groping each other. That was a sight that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Danny and I were left alone to get settled in our room. “Damn, I didn’t know that you were balling like this,” he said as he pounced onto the bed. I sat at the vanity mirror and ran a brush through my hair a few times before piling it up on top of my head.
“Well, that’s what happens when black women score a nice white man. He treats her like a queen and that’s how she got her palace,” I said with a wink as I wiggled out of my pants in order to join him in bed."Wait. Your mom is black?!" he asked in total shock. Laughter erupted from the pit of my stomach. I swear, that was one thing that I really got a kick out of. My father was white, but most of my traits came from my mom. She was a bit more pale than even the average light-skinned woman. Everyone always noted the similarities between the two of us from our smiles, face shape, height, and even down to the freckles that neatly decorated our faces. I even got my long, rust-colored hair that I often dyed jet black from her. There for a while I didn't even have to get carded to buy cigarettes because a few cashiers often mistook me for her. You could tell that she had a more mature look and had more than a few gray hairs. For a good portion of my life, people that knew our family referred to me as "Little Missy." Even in her forties, she still could have passed for thirty and eventually I admitted to myself that we could have passed as twins.
"I can't believe you thought she was white!" I laughed boastfully. I looked down at my arms, noting my own honey colored skin. "I can promise you that this isn't a tan," I said with a smirk still on my face. All he could do is roll his eyes. "You learn something new every day," he said, shrugging his shoulders.
I was tired and I could feel the hunger growing in my belly again. Danny curled up beside my
stomach and rubbed his hand gently over the space below my belly button. GRRRRUUUURRRRRRLLLLL, my stomach screamed. “Damn, you’re hungry again?” he asked loudly. I was a little embarrassed. “Sorry. I never used to eat this much. I just hope that I’m not getting too fat,” I added while running my fingers through his hair. “I swear you’re going to eat me out of a house and home,” he joked and then looked up at me for a kiss. Instead of it being a quick peck on the lips, he held me there, opening my mouth with his tongue. But we were interrupted by a knock at the door, just as a lump grew in his boxers.
“I have buffalo wings!” Mom shouted, careful not to stick her head through the door, afraid of what she might walk in on. My mouth began to water again. “Thanks Mom! I’ll be down in a second,” I replied anxiously. I didn’t play when it came to food. I began to jump off of the bed when Danny caught my arm. “What?” I asked in confusion. “What am I supposed to do with this?” he asked, referring to the problem he had below his waist. I chuckled and climbed on top of him to where I was straddling him.
“Is this better?” I asked with a grin still plastered on my face. “A little,” he said, easing the straps of my bra down my shoulders. He reached behind me to take apart the clasp of my bra and now my breasts were almost completely exposed. You could still see my nipples beneath the black camisole that I was wearing. Each time the fabric grazed my nipples, I wanted to hit the ceiling. I hated how
incredibly sore they were. Sometimes it was a good sore. Like the type of sore that felt good after being massaged. “God, you’re perfect,” he said as he stared at me up and down, taking in every single feature. “I’m not playing this game with you. Chicken wings are calling my name,” I said with a laugh as I tried to get up. He put his hands firmly on my hips and held me directly on top of his erection.
“I’m not playing,” he said as he hooked his fingers around the collar of my shirt, pulling it down and below my breasts. That was when the torture began. His mouth clamped around one of my nipples and the sensation it gave me, caused me to grind my hips, rotating in a circle. “I think food can wait,” I moaned as he changed sides. “You always try to fight me, but I always win,” he said as
he cupped my breasts and moved his lips to my neck. He was right. He did always win and he always had an unfair advantage. He always knew where to touch me and knew exactly how to use his mouth. “I’ve told you time and time again that you need to just relax and let me do my job.” I let out a fairly loud gasp as I felt him slide into me. He moved my hips, doing all of the work, as he watched me enjoy the ride. “I hate you,” I was able to get out with a smile, causing him to thrust into me harder than I expected. It sent me right over the edge and I didn’t even see it coming. He would go slow for a few minutes and then slam into me when I least expected it. It hit me so many times that I wasn’t even sure if I could make it downstairs to even get any food once we were done.
“Is this what you meant when you said if we didn’t have to eat, I wouldn’t be able to walk?” I asked, struggling to catch my breath during the soft grinding motions he allowed so I could get myself together before he sent me over the edge. “What makes you say that?” he asked gently pulling my hair. I had to be honest. “I don’t think my legs are working anymore,” I replied quickly before he slammed into me again. “We’re just getting started,” he said with an evil laugh. I didn’t think that I could take much more.
I stayed in bed well into the afternoon the next morning. I was sore and the more I tried to move my legs, it only got even more sore. I had to get up though, I felt like I was lying in a wet spot directly under my chest. I propped myself up and looked down to find two large wet circles leading from my nipples. “What the hell?” I whispered to myself. “Sydney!” I heard someone shout followed by a slew of footsteps toward the room. “Wake up! You are not going to sleep the day away!” I had finally recognized the voice as Rachel’s. Jamie and Melanie came tagging along behind her. They all stopped dead in their tracks when they noticed the same thing that I noticed upon waking up. “Oh shit, that’s gross,” Melanie mumbled. Whop! The palm of Mom’s hand collided with the back of her head. “Hey! I practically raised you girls! Watch your damn mouths!” Melanie rubbed the back of her head.
“Sorry Momma Trent.” My house used to be the spot for the sleepovers simply because of the gigantic guest bedroom. Everyone stayed here every weekend until we became teenagers. Just as you would expect in such a small town like Welch, everyone was somehow related or everyone grew up with each other. Overall, all of our parents had had a hand in taking care of us and plenty of other kids in the neighborhood while we were growing up.
“Anyway, your mom told us the good news about the vow renewal. But we can see that your
boobs have exploded so maybe you need a shower before we get started with looking for everything?” Jamie asked. “Ha-ha, very funny,” I said swinging my legs out of bed before I could remember that I was still sore. A hot bath was going to be the only cure for
this, but I knew that it would have to wait until later.
“We have a vow renewal and two baby shower’s to plan for. This year is going to be fantastic. Not to mention that my babies will be graduating!” My mom said cheerfully. All three of my friends looked at her and I could tell that they were lost. I’d have to fill them in about everything later. “Where’s Candace?” she asked after noticing that she was lost from the pack. All of the expressions on our faces changed and my heart began to race just thinking about what had happened. Even though Candace had come back to us, begging for forgiveness, she was still keeping her distance and acting funny toward us at times. We were almost to the point of getting used to not seeing her around much. To someone like my mom, that was odd. It was rare for her to see four of us instead of five.
I walked over to Mom as carefully as I could to grab her hand and sit her down on the bed. As far as I knew, she was completely oblivious to the fact that Candace had a drug problem and if she did know, she probably had no idea that it had gotten this bad. “Mom, I don’t think Candace will be joining us for any of these events. She’s a little tied up.” She stared at me and I could feel her palm start to sweat. Automatically, she knew that it wasn’t good. “What in the hell has that girl gotten herself into this time?” she said solemnly. I took a deep breath and began to explain everything
from the party where Danny and I first hung out, to her disappearance at the beach after our big throw down in the beach house.
Everyone in the room grew angry by Candace’s words toward me even after her apology. With the way she was blowing us off, it was hard to tell if she had even been sincere about it or if she was just putting on a show just to throw us off. They all agreed that regardless what I said to her, she had
absolutely no right to stoop that low. I wasn’t looking for everyone to be on my side. I would have been satisfied with not even telling any of them why Candace had disappeared and why our relationship was so different now.
After over an hour of explaining and even having to calm my mom down more than a few times, throughout the conversation, she was fuming. When I got to the end of this long drawn out disaster, Rachel was in tears and my mom was holding me. “No matter what happened to you in the past, you’re not a bad person. You’re a smart girl with a bright future ahead of her and you’re going to be an amazing mother even if I have to beat it into you.” Hearing those words took me back to being a ten year old again and it felt great.
Here I was, curled up on my mommy’s lap again. Something that I hadn’t done in almost ten years. “We tried calling her parents. We were hoping they could knock some sense into her because we think she's still using. She needs help,” Rachel said quietly. “Yeah, but they haven’t seen or heard from her and we don’t think they’ve even tried to look for her. We didn’t mention the drugs. I don’t even think they care actually,” Melanie added. “None of us would ever hurt Sydney like that. We were all there through everything and she still goes and pulls this.” I was relieved to let all of this out. This was the kind of stuff that I had so desperately wanted from my mother for all of these years. “We all know life gets shitty, but that doesn’t mean that you have to get high to make up for it. Candace has always gotten everything she wanted and needed and Lily and Ray would be furious if they knew what was going on,” my mom explained.
As much as we didn’t want her to, she ended up calling Candace’s parents anyway. What we didn’t know was that she was at their house and when she broke the news to them, Aunt Lily went ballistic
and beat the shit out of her. The whole thing went down on the phone and luckily we were able to hear every blow. The sounds of pots and plates flying everywhere was enough to make me cringe and rejoice because I finally felt like I got my justice and Candace got her karma for being so awful to me when I spent most of my time taking care of her for so long. We even got to
listen in on Candace getting kicked out.
“I’m gonna have to call you back Missy,” she said to my mom before screaming, “And don’t come back!” she yelled and then hung up. That was definitely everything I needed to make myself feel better. I know it was wrong to wish bad on people, but Candace definitely had it coming and I didn’t feel the least bit sorry for her. “That takes care of that,” Mom said with the most evil grin on her face that I had ever seen. I finally felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. “Now, we have some events to plan,” she finally added happily.